Today I’m sharing an experience that helped me see the difference between what I can’t do and what I won’t do and how that can bring me closer to my goals or keep me shackled to where I am.
Now warning, some of what I’m going to say may make you feel a way and that’s alright because I’d rather you get mad at me than be left behind.
I’m working on launching my podcast after a small but unsuccessful attempt going at it alone and half-informed.
You know the bootstrapping mindset- I can do this, let me YouTube a couple things and Google a couple more.
I found out what mic to get and a whole bunch more stuff from that so yeah, I thought I was WINNING. And in a small way I WAS because at least I had given it a shot right? One principle of success is that imperfect action ALWAYS beats perfect inaction.
So let me tell you about my imperfect action.
I created this LIVE podcast called Ask Script Sister with simulcast on IG and Facebook and every week on Wednesday I would go LIVE at 7 pm CST
I knew my topics like the back of my hand. I’m talking about screenwriting. And I been a writer since I was six so to me, there is NOBODY on earth that can beast this the way I can. You can understand that right?
There’s something you do, or may be writing, singing, cooking, engineering tech solutions… the list goes on, that you KNOW you do better than anyone you’ve ever encountered. That’s raw talent and we all got it in at least one area of life.
Ok so here’s how that whole Ask Script Sister thing went…
I told people to DM me with their questions about writing a screenplay and I would answer them LIVE on my podcast in great detail. Simple right? Right!
Except NOBODY was sliding in my DMs. I mean DM was DRY DRY and in my mind I’m like man, I can’t go LIVE on IG & FB with no questions to answer. That’s EMBARRASSING!
But like I said, imperfect action... so now, I gotta eat my own dog food. And if I’m honest, I don’t like the flavor AT ALL but ain’t no turning back cuz I told people I was gonna do it and I do my best to keep my word. That’s my internal integrity meter that we can cover later.
Flash forward. These LIVE podcast sessions are HORRIBLE! No views, no comments, I’m stumbling over myself, got my big face too close to the camera. Man, if it COULD be done wrong, I was doing it. Wrong!
So then after one particularly bad episode, my daughter comes to me with some brutally honest feedback not that I needed it. I was already losing confidence week because I knew I sucked. Can you hear that?
I was doing it knowing I was bad at it. And kids ain’t shyt, pardon my French, but she looked me dead in my face as I came in from a complete bomb and said “Momma, that whole face in the camera look ain’t working for you. You need to do something different.”
OUCH!!!
In my mind if it had been the climax of a movie scene, I woulda knocked all that shyt off the table! I was mad. No, I was hurt. Anger is a side effect of hurt feelings. The next thing she said saved it though. She probably saw me about to throw a whole 2 year old tantrum then was like “you’re an expert and you sell high ticket products. Everything you do has to be a reflection of that quality experience cuz that’s what makes your brand” or something like that. I went foggy cuz I was all in my feelings. Why? Because she was dead right. I reflected on those episodes and not the views and likes, but what I was delivering.
I looked at the NAME of the podcast. The acronym it created… OMG could I be more embarrassed? Probably not!
That feedback was the end of the ASS Podcast but if you don’t believe me, feel free to go to my instagram, now under the handle @TheSavvyScreenwriter and go listen for yourself.
I could delete those videos but I need them for a few reasons.
Flash forward cuz while all of this is happening, I was forced to sell the house I lived in and then got a chance to offload an income property that was just draining me. It was really me if I’m honest but another topic for another day.
So i moved from Chicago to Atlanta. Most of my stuff is in storage, I’m m sleeping on an air mattress with family. As states of existence go, I was at a pretty low place. But I’m not dwelling on where I WAS because I dedicated myself to my true destination. This was a bump on that road, not the end of the line but it mattered in my approach. Can you imagine the internal turmoil? I got 99 Problems but a script ain’t one! Cue the music.
Ok so a few weeks after the move to Atlanta, I’m in Dubai and I’m 9 hours ahead of Chicago which was still my standard for time. It’s an 8 hour difference during daylight savings so mostly I’m scrolling Facebook while most of the people I know are sleep. I’m not a creep. And if I ever commented or shared your posts at some really odd hour, that’s probably why.
Wait… when I arrived in Dubai my son who is ALSO an entrepreneur introduced me to the social proof podcast hosted by David Shans and I’m blown away like whoa… this is what I’m trying to do RIGHT HERE!
Not that I’m trying to cover the same topics but his show is probably low key one of the best in the market period. Now I’m inspired but still uneducated. And before I left the United States, I did more research and bought some actual podcasting equipment. But my daughters voice lingered and I’m like man, I can’t go out like no sucker TWICE I need to put some things in place and get me some structure to this thing.
A few weeks into my vacation, David announces his Launch Your Podcast challenge.
I’m like yo… that’s dope but it’s happening while I’m on the other side of the world. I CANT do that.
Then I asked my son, without telling him the time commitment, should I do this? Without blinking, you know what he said. I signed up for the VIP experience cuz this is my chance to work with the GOAT of podcasting plus build my network. It’s a win:win for me right? Yup… until I realize that to be a part of the challenge I have to login at 3:15 pm EST daily for the duration of the challenge. That’s midnight local time 😳
Now I’m a night owl when I’m at home but when I’m with my family in Dubai, I’m in chill mode, playing with the grandgems, catching up with my sons, and sleeping by 10 pm most nights so I had to decide if I REALLY wanted this podcast thing to be real for me or if I was just talking a good game to myself which I’ve been known to do from time to time.
You might be familiar. You see something that gets you excited. I’m that excited state you commit. Then it comes time for the work. And it’s where you show yourself what you’re made of. You either show up or walk away in 60 seconds flat. Maybe not but the outcome is the same. You decided the work was something you were not gonna do for whatever reason.
Ok so night one of the Launch Your Podcast Challenge, I’m on zombie. Super tired, I know I have to be up at 5 to handle some family stuff and get my workout done (that’s my commitment to myself) so a million excuses are running through my mind.
And that’s how it is for me and many of us. We come with a million and one reasons we CANT do what we committed to. Sometimes we come up with a Molly and one reasons not to commit in the first place. But all that is, is us saying we don’t believe we can be great. I mean we do believe sorta, but not enough to risk trying and STILL NOT being great you feel me?
But at that point it’s not about what we can’t do, it’s what we won’t do.
I COULD stay up later than usual
I COULD go to sleep at my regular time and blow it off
Maybe I could wait until next year, when things are more settled and I’m on eastern time to sign up again right?
None of my excuses were really about what I couldn’t do but a reflection of what I WOULD or would NOT do.
Would I go to the podcast session?
Would I commit to learning as much as possible from the best to do it?
Would I take aligned action to put myself and my brand in a better position through the launch of my podcast
It wasn’t what I can’t do that was causing me to doubt my next steps. It was what I was subconsciously saying I WONT do.
And this is human nature! It’s not what we can’t do that stops us from achieving success. It’s what we won’t do.
Most people sell themselves short by deciding what they can’t do
I can’t afford to invest
I can’t write I don’t have time
I can’t pitch, I don’t know producers
And on and on. But what they are REALLY saying is…
I won’t invest in musy(time, money or both)
I won’t prioritize writing so i can do it consistently
I won’t build my network so that I position myself to be recognized in the industry
And you can replace these statements with your own. I’m not here to judge you, just sharing what I’ve learned about myself and how I overcome my own CANT mindset so I becca best, most successful version of myself.